Have you ever had a hard time falling asleep or staying asleep? Have you ever lain in your bed with thoughts and worries swirling around in your head? I have.
I don’t sleep well, and although I don’t stay up at night worrying about the same things I did when I was a pastor I can still lay there staring up at the ceiling for what seems like hours until I finally somehow manage to drift off.
Now some pastors who are more spiritual than me…or maybe you, don’t seem to worry about anything, let alone worry about things in the night. But I think this is an exception to the rule. Here are some things and thoughts that keep pastors awake at night:
Why are our numbers shrinking?
What are we doing wrong?
What am I doing wrong?
If we continue to drop in our numbers I might be out of a job.
Why are our offerings down?
If offerings continue to drop I’m going to have take a cut in pay or get a job outside of the church.
Bill and Sandy said they wanted to meet with me tomorrow. I wonder what that’s about?
I hope they’re not leaving the church?
What if there are more who are thinking the same?
What’s that pain in my chest?
I guess I should go see a doctor but how will I pay for that?
I’m not sure I’m a good father/mother.
Am I giving my spouse the time and focus they need and deserve?
Why am I doing this?
If something doesn’t change I don’t know how much longer we can continue.
I wonder what’s going on with deacon Bob. Lately he’s seemed distant to me.
I hope the board meeting goes well tonight.
Why do our board meetings never seem to go well?
I could go on and on.
If you are not a pastor I wanted you to see into what might be keeping your pastor awake at night. If you are a pastor I want you to know that you are not alone. Most pastors worry about the same things you do. Maybe it’s just because ‘misery loves company’ but find a safe group of pastors or a mentor or a coach that you can keep company with, someone who will understand and encourage you and pray for you. And speaking of prayer, remember to bring to the Father what keeps you awake at night. In fact, one thing I try to practice is to turn the things that keep me awake at night into prayers in the night. Believe me, it helps.
‘Mile Wide, Inch Deep: Experiencing God Beyond the Shallows, Soul Care for Busy Pastors’ is available here.