The Time I Almost Lost My Children’s Ministry Director…and it was my fault.

 

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In our last church I had, possibly, the best children’s ministry director in my twenty eight years of pastoring. Carrie was one of those really gifted people who had a passion for kids, was pro-active, you never had to worry about her. But one day she came into my office and said, “Dave, sometimes I feel like the only reason we meet is to talk about my ministry. I don’t feel like you care about me as a person, I’m just someone that helps you accomplish your vision for the church.”

Ouch!

You know what? She was basically right. Of course I cared about Carrie, but is was true, our one-on-one meetings were all about how her department was doing. I never met with Carrie to simply talk about life, how was she doing, etc. I apologized. She accepted my apology, and we were able to move forward. But Carrie helped me learn an important lesson.

Your leaders need two types of meetings.

Leadership Team meetings. Even if you only have a few leaders you need to gather them for prayer, communication, vision-casting, and leadership development. But never forget, group meetings accomplish something different than the one-on-one meetings. Understanding this difference is essential if you want to keep your best leaders.

One-on-one meetings. This might be in your office, over a cup of coffee, or for breakfast or lunch…it doesn’t matter where but it matters, it matters a lot. You need time to check in with your leaders to find out how they are doing. Not how their ministry is doing. Ask questions like:

  1. How’s your relationship with Jesus?
  2. If you had to choose one word to describe your currently relationship with Jesus, what would it be?
  3. If they are married: If you had one word to describe your current relationship with your spouse, your children, etc., what would it be?
  4. How can I better serve you?

I guess you could accomplish some of the things mentioned for leadership team meetings in a one-on-one meeting but be careful. Make sure you start out with the personal stuff first. If your whole time with them ends up being about personal stuff…that’s okay. Followup some time later to find out how their ministry is doing.

Ellen use to remind me, “Dave, it’s all about people, not programs. People before programs.”

Make sure that group meetings and one-on-one meetings show up in your schedule. If you want to keep your best people, give time to your best people. Show them you care about them, not just how they are serving in the church.

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